The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy and connection, but for many, it’s an emotional minefield. Nostalgia mixes with unresolved family dynamics, and societal pressures to feel merry and bright can amplify inner conflicts. If the mere thought of Christmas leaves you bracing yourself, you’re not alone. The good news? You don’t have to passively endure being triggered. Below are unconventional strategies to help you navigate the emotional intensity of the holidays with grace—and maybe even reclaim the magic of the season.

Triggers are not random; they’re like emotional fingerprints, revealing where past wounds still linger. Before the holidays kick in, sit with a pen and paper and write out your emotional hotspots. Is it a particular person, a type of conversation, or even the atmosphere of a family gathering? Instead of trying to suppress these feelings, try a technique called anticipatory reframe. Ask yourself:

• What’s the underlying need this trigger points to?
• What would it look like to meet that need for myself?

For example, if criticism from a relative about your life choices feels suffocating, consider: is it really about their comment, or is it about feeling unseen? Plan in advance how to affirm yourself internally so their words lose their sting. This proactive approach removes the element of surprise and gives you control.

Aromatherapy isn’t just about burning candles. Studies have shown that scents directly influence the limbic system, which governs emotions and memories. Carry a tiny roller of a grounding essential oil blend—try vetiver and bergamot—to subtly engage your senses during moments of overwhelm. The trick is to inhale deeply while mentally repeating a grounding affirmation, such as, “This is temporary, I am steady.”

By pairing scent with self-soothing words, you’re training your brain to associate calmness with that aroma over time—a tool that can become your emotional anchor during any future tense moments.

If you dread family arguments or unsolicited advice, consider mental aikido. In this Japanese martial art, the principle is to redirect an opponent’s energy rather than resist it. Applied conversationally, this means instead of defensively reacting, you pivot.

For example:

• Triggering comment: “Why are you still single? Surely, you don’t want to be alone forever.”
• Aikido response: “That’s an interesting perspective. How’s your love life been lately?”

This redirection not only avoids escalation but subtly shifts the focus, leaving the other person momentarily disarmed. The goal isn’t to engage in passive aggression but to create space where you’re no longer the target.

When triggered, your body reacts before your brain catches up. Instead of trying to "think your way" out of a reactive state, turn to somatic recalibration—a technique that interrupts the stress response.

• Press your feet firmly into the ground, bringing awareness to the connection between your body and the earth.
• Place one hand over your heart and the other on your lower belly.
• Breathe in for a count of four, hold for two, and exhale slowly for six.

This simple exercise communicates safety to your nervous system, helping you re-centre in seconds. It’s especially effective in crowded environments like chaotic family gatherings or bustling shopping centres.

For many, the holidays trigger memories of what was—or wasn’t. Whether it’s an absent loved one or childhood disappointments, unresolved grief often comes to the surface this time of year. One way to ease this is through a ritual of release.

Write a letter to the version of you that experienced that loss or pain. Speak to them with compassion:

• “I see what you went through, and it’s okay to feel this way. You don’t have to carry this hurt anymore.”

Then, safely burn or bury the letter, symbolising the release of those emotions. This act is deeply cathartic and allows you to engage with the present holiday season from a lighter, freer place.

One overlooked strategy for managing holiday triggers is to rewrite the script entirely. Who says Christmas has to look like a Hallmark movie? If certain traditions feel like emotional landmines, replace them with ones that genuinely align with your values.

• Dread the family dinner? Host a “Friendsmas” brunch instead.
• Feel burdened by gift-giving? Shift to experience-based exchanges or donate to charity in loved ones’ names.

By taking ownership of the season’s meaning, you shift from passive participant to empowered creator. Triggers lose their power when you’re directing the storyline.

The holidays tend to fuel a flurry of forward-thinking and backward-looking thoughts, both of which can amplify stress. Instead, try practising radical presence. This isn’t your run-of-the-mill mindfulness; it’s about fully immersing yourself in small, tangible moments.

For instance, while preparing a meal, tune into every detail: the texture of an ornament, the sound of a knife slicing through vegetables, or the warmth of a mug in your hands. These sensory experiences anchor you in the now, providing relief from emotional triggers tied to past or future expectations.

Coping with holiday triggers doesn’t mean avoiding them altogether. By using these techniques, you’re not just surviving the season—you’re transforming it. Remember, the holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. With a bit of intention and these unique strategies, you can experience a more authentic, peaceful Christmas that feels entirely your own.